Grown Ass Children

So we're all alone in Croatia...it was a sad goodbye to Belkis, Josh, and the girls, then a serious travel experience from Rome to Split. Throughout our maiden journey there was a general theme of incompetence and sourpuss Italian attitudes. We never got proper directions, patience with the language barrier, or organization. With a few amazing examples, people sort of sucked. Here's how our trip so far breaks down:
Airport in Rome to train station in Rome - everyone seemed to think we already knew everything there was to know about traveling in Italy. The train station was huuuggge and we got the runaround from multiple Roman Snakes. In the process of getting our train passes validated, the head Roman Snake only gave Mickey 15 travel days (instead of the two months he paid big moneys for). As he was explaining her snakehood to her, she made the exact same mistake on Molly's ticket.
Rome to Ancona - a fairly uneventful four-hour train ride, other than general discomfort. The seats were taken straight from Six Flags-Great America and Sean almost puked everywhere. The bathroom was a notch below port-a-potty, with a stench unmatched (until the ferry ride). We saw some cool countryside and some hoppin beaches, and feasted on tasties stolen from the nice hotel that morning (including Nutella, the food of the gods).
Ancona to Split - this is where things got interesting. We got the first class cabin, so we figured it would be more like a cruise than a ferry. We got off the bus at the right stop completely by chance, and relaxed before boarding. Once we got on, we realized we had been tossed into a labrynth from hell. Once we finally did find our room, we discovered the people had neglected to give us our key. Upon entry to our delux accomodations, we were instantly transported back to 1941. It was the most depressing, dark, fake-windowed room we had ever seen. The beds came complete with sleeping tubes, and the toilet got seasick, gurgling and throwing up the most putrid scent ever imagined (think dead porpoise mixed with amuzement park vomit mixed with Mickey's BO). We mingled a bit with the under-16 Croatian boys basketball team and enjoyed our flask of rum and lemoncello on the deck. Sean decided to take it to the next level by puking all over every inch of one of the public restrooms. We got up for a delux breakfast at 6 am (awoken by the sweet sound of someone viciously banging on our door and another toilet gurgle episode). We arrived in Split at around 7 am and wandered to our hostel to leave our bags. We were immediately scolded by the whorebitch innkeeper for not waiting long enough by the door. We are now wandering around the beautiful city of Split, not recognizing a word, catching faint hints of the haunting ferry toilet smell.
Today's plan is to hit the beach, catch some sleep, and start making our mark here. Tara Reid came here once, so it's probably going to get crazy at the cluuuuuuu

Stay tuned, this part of the trip is bound to be blog-worthy


Hypnotize Hampsterize Debowelize